Oh my Nannie. I have been trying desperately to come up with the words to express the love I feel for you and the utter heartbreak I feel from your passing. I have rewritten this so many times and it seems no words can sufficiently convey the impact you have had on my life for the past 29 years but I will do my best.

I remember the summers I spent at your house. The days were filled with laughter and games. We would take walks to the co-op to pick out a special drink and a treat; for me it was always cream soda and a fudgesicle. You taught me that we should always have a little something sweet after a meal. I think of you every time I am getting myself “a little something sweet”.

The evenings were filled with bingo, card games and bed time stories. Nights at the bingo hall were so fun! I would watch in awe as you dabbed the sea of cards in front you while I struggled to keep up with just one! And when it came to playing cards you did not mess around! I think you just might be why I am so competitive. However; the most important memories to me are the stories you read. You would always read me “The Kissing Hand”. It was the story of a little raccoon who was too afraid to leave his mom to go to school. So she taught him a secret - she kissed the palm of his hand so that anytime he missed her, he could press his palm to his cheek and be filled with her warm love.

When the summers came to an end I would be so sad. I knew it would be a long time before I saw you again. You would always kiss the palm of my hand before I left so I could carry your love with me until the next time we saw each other. This happened every time I left your home for as long as I can remember, including the last time I saw you in August. The last secret exchange. A precious gift from you to me because I know when I need to feel your love most, I need only press my hand to my cheek to feel the warmth of your love. I will treasure this gift until our souls meet again.

Nannie, 30 years is a long time to know someone. 30 years is a long time to have a grandparent.

Nova Scotia is a place that feels so much like home to me. Not because of how much time I spent there, but because of who I spent time with there, You and Papa especially.

I remember all the times when we lived away, and we would take the drive to Louisdale. And we would get excited about "porcupine mountain" right before the causeway, and the exit ramp to your house. We were only that much closer to you. I was that much closer to my nannie hug. You would wait up until all hours waiting for us to make it safe.

I remember as a very young girl sleeping over at your house, and we would get snuggled up in the little room and you would read me and my sister's stories. I remember most the stories about the Wemmicks. I loved the way you read to me, to your grandchildren, and you would personalize sentences so they were coming from your heart. I read the Wemmick stories to my kids, and reading them now will feel so much harder, but every word is a memory of you.

I remember going to Bingo with you when we would visit. You would get me my own bingo card and a little juice and a snack. I never did win, but I sure do remember watching you manage to play 4-6 cards at a time. Bingo eyes are a super power I never got, but have always been in awe of.

Taking a little walk to the Sharon's for a little ice cream treat, was akways so special.

The way you would get upset with dad for letting us play in the rain, in fear your little angel's would get sick. Was always silly to me, but I know it came from a place of love and care.

One of my favorite memories is from long long ago, my sister's and I were sleeping over, we were out in the living room. I woke up in the middle of the night, I had to use the bathroom but was afraid of the dark. It took me minutes, but what felt like hours, to pluck up the courage to walk down the dark hallway to the bathroom. I had only made it 2 steps away from my spot when the LOUDEST snore I have ever heard scared me. I have never jumped faster, or as deep into blankets in my life before or since. It took me another few minutes to realize that it was you who had fallen asleep on the couch, not a nightmarish creature coming for me in the dead of night. Maybe Chris' snoring doesn't bother me so much because it reminds me of you.

These are things I remember about you, you have grown from my nannie to a mémé to my kids. And although they didn't get the time with you that I did I know they would have loved you just as much. Hopefully I pass on some storytelling, and I know I can pass on a special kind of love like you did.

30 years is a long time to have with someone, but 50 wouldn't have felt like long enough.

(You Are Mine- Max Lucado)

You're special-not because of what you have. You're special because of who you are. You are mine. I love you. Don't forget that Nannie.

-Candice

You had many names for your different roles in life and you wore them all proudly: Friend, Coworker, Peer, Leader, Teacher, Mother, Wife, Great gramma. To me and many others you were Nannie. What did Nannie's love look like to me?

1. Tea and coffee in those salmon pink cups.

2. A game of cards at the kitchen table with your witty jabs at all opponents.

3. An ice cream sandwich from a trip to the co-op where you proudly exclaim "c'est amber à kenny" and tell everyone how much I've grown, even well into adulthood.

4. A bingo game where you call me your lucky charm as you dab my card and call bingo for me all while monitoring the sea of cards in front of you.

5. A day at the beach combing the rocks, the sand, and the tide pools for shells, cool rocks, and marine life.

6. A day of blueberry picking at the point where i eat more berries than i pick while you share stories of growing up there.

7. Anxiously waiting up for us to arrive no matter how late we made it in for our visit.

8. "You're getting so big! We are just going to have to start nailing your [insert body part] to the floor."

9. Sleeping in the spare bedroom or living room for sleepovers and getting startled awake by some f the loudest snoring known to man cause ou fell asleep in a chair beside us while waiting for us to sleep.

10. Reading the same bedtime stories over and over, seemingly never getting tired of them. So much so, that at 2 years old I was able to "read" the story to you.

11. All the shelves of knickknacks and angels dusted and placed with such care.

12. Holding on to and storing every item that possibly held the hint of a memory.

13. Cherishing every dandelion bouquet plucked by little finger with nary a stem in sight and placing it in a cup of water on the kitchen window sill.

14. Watching from the porch window as I got older and headed down the road to the co-op or tante colleen's independently.

15. Hugs so tight they could take your breath away.

16. Christmas and birthday cards every year with an inscription that you could tell held love in every letter.

17. Blankets made lovingly for each grandchild.

18. Beautiful dresses handcrafted for special occasions.

19. Feasts prepared for and eaten by the whole family, every bite filled with love. It would seem sometimes there was no room left, but the following year a new little face would be welcomed into the family and somehow you found the room.

20. Every visit, whether we lived far apart or nearby, began with "amber dolly" and ended in tearful "i love you, you know?", knowing the next time we met we'd all be a little different and a little older.

Goodbyes have never been easy for this family. So it's no wonder that this, our final goodbye, is no different. In fact, it makes all the others seem so easy in hindsight. This time I say farewell to everything I loved knowing i can only feel and experience your love by visiting my memories. Those memories are all lessons of love, and I hope to pass that love on to my children and grandchildren some day. They may never have had the privilege to meet you, which will always sadden me, but they will know you because you had a huge hand in teaching me how to love.

Rest easy Nannie,

Amber

P.s. I love you, you know?